Chapter 7 - THE BREAKDOWN
That night, after Carol and Priya left, the house was deathly quiet.
Sarah, the nurse, had gone home for the evening, leaving just Derek, the twins, and me.
Derek sat at the kitchen island with his head buried in his hands. For two hours, he didn't say a word. He didn't check his phone. He didn't retreat into his office. He just sat there in the dark, processing the total destruction of his self-image.
At 10:00 PM, Miles began to cry in the nursery.
Instinctively, I stood up from the couch to go to him, but Derek suddenly stood up too.
"Stay there," Derek said softly.
I paused, watching him. His voice didn't carry anger or defiance anymore. It sounded broken, hollow, and exhausted.
"I'll get him," Derek whispered.
I followed him silently down the hallway, standing in the shadows near the doorway.
Derek walked into the dimly lit nursery. He reached down into the crib, carefully sliding his hands under Miles’ small body, and lifted our eighteen-pound son gently into his arms.
Miles was screaming, his small face red, his fists flailing.
In the past, Derek would have gotten frustrated after two minutes, handed the baby off to me, and walked away.
Instead, Derek sat down in the wooden rocking chair, pulling Miles against his chest. He began to rock back and forth, humming a soft, awkward melody.
Miles kept crying. Five minutes passed. Ten minutes.
Derek’s shoulders began to shake. Silent tears started streaming down his cheeks, dripping onto Miles’ yellow onesie.
"I'm sorry, buddy," Derek sobbed softly into the baby's hair, his voice cracking with genuine pain. "I'm so sorry. Daddy's been so terrible. I'm so sorry."
He rocked Miles for twenty minutes until the baby’s heavy breathing slowed down and his tiny eyes finally drifted shut. Derek gently laid him back down into his crib, adjusted his blanket with immense care, and stood there staring down at his son for a long time.
When he turned around and saw me standing in the doorway, he didn't try to hide his tears.
"I ruined everything, didn't I?" Derek asked, his voice barely audible in the quiet room.
"You came very close," I answered honestly.
"I was terrified, Hope," Derek confessed, burying his face in his hands as he slumped against the wall. "When the twins came... I felt so overwhelmed, so completely useless compared to you. You knew how to calm them. You knew what every cry meant. I felt like I was failing every single day, so... so I just checked out. I made excuses so I wouldn't have to face how incompetent I felt."
I walked closer to him, looking at the genuine remorse in his eyes.
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"Feeling overwhelmed is normal, Derek," I said gently. "Abandoning your family because you're scared is not. You don't get to run away when things get hard."
"I know," he wept. "I'm so sorry, Hope. Please... please show me how to fix this."
